"Can we just cuddle?" 

"Wooo-hooooooo!" 

"I might be wearing a Vikings sweatshirt, but I'm cheering for the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl!"  

My real name is Farmer John, but I go by Farmer Jack." 

"So much for the Atkins Diet."  

"Why are they hopping on Pop? How is this going to end?"  

"I'm the king of the world!" 

"Who wants to hear 'Chopsticks'?" 

"You can put the covers back. Nothing to see here. Just a little curled up ball, no big deal." 

"I'm not really worried about anything. I'm just a very serious person." 

"Self portrait, 2006. Watercolor." 

"You ever get the feeling that you're being watched?" 

"Knock Knock."  

"Ok, here's the plan: You change the diaper, I'll fill it up."  

"Aww schucks." 

"But I don't want to get dressed." 

"Can you see - is my contact still in?"  

"Hey, this mat smells pretty good. I wonder what it tastes like..." 

"Tastes like nylon." 

"I guess you can call me a Swinger."  

"It's Friday night, Dad. Can I get the keys to the stroller?"  

"Ok, so last week the doctor told me I needed to gain 3 ounces before my appointment today. I guess I wasn't paying attention, or maybe I was in the middle of pooping, but I heard 18 ounces. So I did it - I gained 18 ounces. Now I'm 17 days old and 11.2 lbs."  

"Haven't you heard - double chins are double fun."  

"I'm telling you, if you keep rubbing my cheek like that, I'm going to smile. I'll do it. See - here I go." 

"Are you sure Mom said it was ok to take me parachuting?"