"How would you like to go to prom with a varsity letterman? Wait, hold that thought, I feel a nap coming on..."  

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." 

"This is my Dean Martin impression." 

"And this is me as Lawrence of Arabia." 

"Oh, did you hear what happened today? My Daddy changed my diaper and FORGOT to put a new diaper on. I was totally naked under my onesie. We found out when we got to the doctor's office and my clothes were all wet. Mommy and I didn't think it was very funny at the time..." 

"But now we think it's hilarious!" 

"My cheek is as big as the pillow? Are you serious?" 

"Christmas already? It feels like i just had my birthday." 

"Put me in Coach, I'm ready." 

Fawn got a baby boy for Christmas...batteries not included.  

"Ah-choo!"  

"Okay, I'll put out cookies for Santa, but he's not getting any of my milk." 

Day Four meant that it was time for Jack to start to open his eyes - at least partly... 

And then it was time to shut them tighter than he ever had before. 

"A nap at 8 AM? Count me in."  

"What do you mean I have sideburns? I'm three days old."  

"Seriously, just five more minutes."  

"I said I'd get up and shovel the driveway...but that was before I heard about these flannel sheets."  

"I heard if you squeeze your eyes tighter you sleep better."  

"Whew! When I say sweet, I mean that nipple was suh-weet!"  

No one was surprised when Jack was caught - once again - napping on the job. 

Jack Scallon has the cry of 16 mortal infants... 

Home sweet home... 

Let's start with the stats... 

Ready for his close-up.